10 days late...but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Yep, another new year before us. I think I am the only person that made one of her resolutions to be not to work more and earn less. LOL Who does that? Most will jump on the $$$ if it is available. Overtime? Time and a half? No thank you. Been there, done that and now have the medications to show for it.
Seriously, I did not make any resolutions. I find them to be unrealistic and just shows me of yet one more thing I failed to follow through on. I would rather not focus on what I have not accomplished but enjoy the moments and triumphs of what I DID achieve.
Now I could make a note and say that I am going to blog more and not forget to log on and not to let life get in the way of my postings. I am going to try, but no promise there. Bouncing around the idea of the 355 day daily blog. Kind of a way to hold myself accountable to the "new life" I am working on. Therapy, possible out of state move, working out and learning to relax. I am not sure if I will do it, but might as well start since I am logged on.
Therapy: needed. Panic attacks have grown out of control. I have always had anxiety and panic attacks...but they were controllable. Not so much anymore. When you feel as if you are having a heart attack its time to do something. I am doing better with being comfortable in new places, but that is a work in progress. Most of the severe attacks happen between Monday-Friday from 7am to 4pm. That takes us to the next topic.
Possible move out of state: Again. I always seem to be looking for "Mayberry". I have come to realize that Andy, Aunt Bea and Opie burned the city down and it is gone for ever. Oh sure the Waltons had it on the mountain, but they too sold out and there are condos and hipsters all over the mountain now. We left CA and went to the frozen tundra of WI because I thought I had found it. Nope. Not there. But...we did find Salems Lot there. Hence the reason we are now in the great country of Texas. Yes, Austin...the "music capitol of the world". Seriously? I grew up in Los Angeles and Orange County. Southern CA...that's where you find music. Not just a bunch of beards in a band playing some dive bar. Come to Austin...lots of jobs. Nah. Not for what I do for a living. Nothing better than feeling like you are stuck and will die if you don't flee. We are pondering the possibility of moving back to AZ. I know...you can't go backwards in life. And moving out of state is a big leap of faith, but not doing it would be a bigger mistake.
Working out: loving it! It would be easy to not go. But seriously, all I am going to do if I don't go is
1. sit in front of the TV and let my brain melt.
2. stay plugged in to one of the many electronic devices that distract me.
3. let my blood sugar continue to climb until I am on insulin injections.
4. become my parents.
5. DIE
Those all sound like good motivators to get me there a minimum of 5-6 days a week. I didn't go yesterday. I took a break after 6 days straight and felt guilty about not going. I don't do much by some standards. I try and get 1 to 1 1/2 hours in each day. I had to take one day off to give my body time to bounce back after the beating it took on Weds. Maybe I will do a 5k before the end of the year. If so, one more thing off the bucket list.
Relax: I guess all of the above will help me relax more and take time for me. I hate doing things for me. Not sure why, but then again I am in therapy so I guess I will find that answer soon enough.
Life is good. We are not wealthy, but comfortable. My marriage and my family are my everything and that's what keeps me going. One day at a time.......
